Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Ashley's Philosophy Corner

To all those who are afraid of dying...
    Death is something that has troubled the human mind since time began, there's no question about it. What happens when you're dead? Does it hurt a lot? Do you just float in forever blackness? Well, as you know, this is kind of a touchy subject,  because it's very easy to get religious about this topic, but for once, I am going to try and steer away from that as much as possible to remain relatable.
    Anyway, what is death really? The two aspects of it are possible pain, and possible nothingness once you are dead.  Putting it right down to that basic structure, doesn't it seem kind of ridiculous? After all, think about all the pain you've had in your life. Every time you've stubbed your toe or broken your arm or bonked your head or scraped your knee or hit your elbow on something or got bitten by a dog or gotten stung by a bee or got burned on a hot stove...the list is endless. I mean, come on, let's face it, you've had a whole lot of pain in your life! And you've gotten over it. So why should death pain be any different? Because it's the end of your existence. Like I said, I'm not going to get religious, but at least allow me this. I know without a doubt in my heart, that after you die, you will live again. I'm not going to say where you go or why, but people haven't been talking about the concepts of heaven since the beginning of time for nothing. It's for a reason. If humans can be so complex, so brilliant, so full of purpose and heart and progression at the end of their lives, doesn't that at least mean that when they leave this world they can go somewhere that means as much as they do? I promise you with every morsel in my being that death is not the end. It couldn't be the end. It is merely stepping into the next stage of life.        
      And, equally as important, don't worry about dying at the wrong time. Of course it doesn't seem right for a baby to be stillborn, or a child should die of Cancer, or a teen should be killed in a car accident. Of course it hurts to know a relative committed suicide or got hit by a train. But surely the cruelty of it couldn't be real. Surely they were meant to depart at that time for a reason. You may die before the championship game, or you may die before you finish your masterpiece, or you may die before you get married or have see your grandchildren of retire from your difficult job, whatever it is. It's okay.  It was meant to be. Even if it's not in God you trust, if you are ever to feel peace within yourself, you must sooner or later learn to trust in something bigger than yourself. Think of space and its vast galaxies...isn't that bigger than yourself? It had to have gotten there somehow. The whole of it -the whole of everything means you have a purpose. And death is just part of that. So, do not be afraid of death. That's all there is to it.

Austin's Funnies Corner

"Doctor, doctor! I only have a few seconds to live!"
"Just a minute!"

What she teaches:
2 + 2 = 4
What the assignment is:
2 X 4 = 8
What the homework is:
2(4a + -4,782)9 X 45

Alex's Awesome Random Corner

     Here's some random advice from the unpublished A Guide To Surviving Middle School. These are known from experience. Unfortunately for some of them... :)


  • Avoid clapping weirdos.
  • Prepare for the worst when you enter the hallways.
  • Expect anything and everything. Don't rule possible things because they're unlikely. (Trust me, very few things in life will appear as extraordinary once you've walked out those doors.)
  • Plan, organize, and prioritize. Otherwise, everything will fall flat in your face. (Grades, relationships, reputations, everything, etc.)
  • Don't date. Life's just simpler, happier, and talk about skipping the drama! Plus, it ruins relationships. A boy and girl could be great friends, having a good time, doing what they love, just being a kid and having fun, but no. They have to have those stupid labels of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" attached to their heads, making things awkward and dramatic, and so many other things! Besides, what are you going to do as a "couple"? Have your mom take you to the park to share a Popsicle? I mean, come on! Lame! So, DON'T DATE!
  • Don't swear either. It may sound like I'm trying to preach to you how to be a goody goody, but there's a way not to be uncool, but not have to follow all the silly trends like saying the f word or other things. Find them. Don't resort to sinking to that level, because trust me, it's NOT worth it.



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